As we are in the grips of this pandemic, it can be easy (almost too easy) to cower from the stress and hide in the shadows of doing the work that we have been called to do. And while the work we do can be scary, creating habits to become a more self-confident doctor while making this journey easier will create a strong foundation for future success in medicine.
Becoming a more self-confident doctor doesn’t just happen. It takes courage and a specific roadmap to get you started.
Let me help you with 5 sure-fire habits that will get you started toward creating the self-confident doctor you envision for yourself.
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How to Become a More Self-Confident Doctor
1. Focus on What is In Front of You
While the world is battling this pandemic, we all share a common emotion–fear. We all feel the anxiety, worry, and stress. From the medical student starting his first day on the medical wards to the seasoned surgeon in her 20th year in practice.
Remember this, though, the sooner we face the fear in front of us (and only in front of us), the better and more self-confident we will become.
In his wonderfully written book, Courage is Calling, Ryan Holiday describes the story of the general and orator Demosthenes. He woke up one morning to find out he was on the verge of being attacked by land and sea. He gathered his men on the shore and gave them a speech we could use, especially during these trying times.
“Soldiers and comrades in this adventure,” he said. “I hope that none of you in our present strait will think to show his wit by exactly calculating all the perils that encompass us, but that you will rather hasten to close with the enemy, without staying to count the odds, seeing in this your best chance of safety. In emergencies like ours, calculation is out of place; the sooner the danger is faced, the better.” [excerpt from Courage is Calling]
2. Take Action (No Matter How Small)
Tony Robbins is a master at the art of focus. As a lifelong student of his, he routinely mentions, “where focus goes, energy flows.” To get to where you want to be in your personal and professional life, you must have a clear focus. We choose where we place that focus. If you obsess on the positive, that’s where your mind will take you. Focus on the negative…well, then, it’s a lot of the same as before.
Another excellent teacher on taking action is Mel Robbins. Mel Robbins is a New York Times Bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and developer of the 5-second rule that I wholly embrace. She precisely says the “the secret to greater confidence, the secret to beating self-doubt, the secret to building that legacy, to be hungry… 5-second windows, 5-second decisions.
So what is the 5-second rule, and how can it help you beat self-doubt? Well, the process is simple in concept. If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds, or your brain will kill it.
So when you feel yourself doubting yourself or hesitating your next decision that you know you should do, count 5-4-3-2-1 and move toward action. This simple act will prevent your mind from working against you. You start the action before the mind has a chance to fill with thoughts and excuse to prevent you from moving on.
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3. To Be Self-Confident You Must Focus on the Self
Do you show kindness and patience towards yourself when faced with a problem? Do you become your own worst critic, questioning your decisions or criticizing your actions? You are not alone. As doctors and nurses, we can be really good at the negative self-talk. In fact, our critical voice may be so familiar that it is automatic, and we might not even notice when we are doing it.
Practicing self-compassion is one way to tame the inner critic.
According to self-compassion researcher Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion is “quieting one’s inner critic and replacing it with a voice of support, understanding, and care for one’s self.” So in times of stress, you might ask yourself,
- “What would I say to a friend in this situation, and how can I apply that to myself?”
- “How can I take care of myself right now?”
When you are self-compassionate towards yourself, you will ask these questions and treat yourself with the same kindness and care you’d show a patient or someone you care deeply about.
“We all have the tendency to believe self-doubt and self-criticism, but listening to this voice never gets us closer to our goals. Instead, try on the point of view of a mentor or good friend who believes in you, wants the best for you, and will encourage you when you feel discouraged.” -Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance
4. Self-Confidence Requires You to Take Risks
All great doctors take risks. They all take a leap of faith. All growth is a leap of faith. So jump! If you don’t, you will never do anything worthwhile. Think back to a time when you could and should have said something. Or a time when you should have acted but didn’t because of fear. Living with this regret makes for a dull and unfilling life.
To become better at this, start small. In their wonderfully written book, Great by Choice, Jim Collins and Morten Hansen recommend “fire bullets, then cannonballs.” The bullets represent something that is low-risk and low-cost, whereas the cannonballs represent the much larger risks.
Do not allow the risk of failure to prevent you from trying new ventures. The more you risk and fail, the greater your chance of ultimate long-term success.
The difference between average and extraordinary is your perception and response to failure. Our negative perception of ourselves can, ultimately, carve away at our wellness leading to physician burnout. Realize that failure is not the enemy but a necessary part of our daily journey toward wellness. Welcome the valuable lessons that our failures can teach us.
5. Thank Your Critics
“If we shield ourselves from all feedback, we stop growing.– Brené Brown”
Receiving constructive feedback can motivate us to change and be more effective physicians and better colleagues. We can improve through feedback by actively listening and reflecting on the criticism, clarifying any unclear points by asking questions, accepting responsibility, and focusing on solutions.
Remember, criticisms don’t define you.
In fact, it’s not a question for us, as physicians, if we will be criticized; it’s a question of when and how we respond to the critics. There is no successful physician that became a success without criticism. It’s simply impossible.
Rather than retreating from criticism, learn to use it to your advantage, to propel you forward, make you stronger and become more agile. It takes courage and humility to do this, but that’s the whole point. To grow and thrive in medicine, we need to have these hard conversations with ourselves and look at ways to improve ourselves first and ultimately improve the lives of those we serve.
Start Today!
I will leave you with a beautiful excerpt from Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics
“We learn an art or craft by doing the things that we shall have to do when we have learnt it: for instance, men become builders by building houses, harpers by playing on the harp. Similarly we become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts.”
Self-confidence requires action. Not once but every day. It’s a daily challenge. Will you be brave or afraid? Will you create good habits or bad? The easy way or the best way?
Make today your day to grow into the person you have envisioned for yourself!
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